FFN 008: The Age of Fragility

Welcome to your Friday Field Notes - a short episode delivered each week designed to help you think critically about what it means to be a man.

My goal is to help you become a better leader in your family, your business, and your community.

If you're interested in getting involved in more discussions like this and want to take charge of your life, I encourage you to check out our elite mastermind, The Iron Council.

This week, I talk about "The Age of Fragility."

Transcript, Crushing  Age of Fragility

Men, what’s going on today?! My name is Ryan Michler and I am the host and founder of Order of Man. If you’re listening to this podcast for the first time, I’m glad you’re here! I’m glad every one of you are here. But I do want to give you a quick heads-up if this is the first show you’ve listened to.

This is a short show we do each and every Friday but we also have a longer interview-type show we release each Tuesday I’ve interview Joe De Sena with Spartan Races, Brett McKay with Art of Manliness, Jocko Willink, author of Extreme Ownership, to name a few.

So, be sure to subscribe and leave us an iTunes rating and review while you’re there at www.orderofman.com/itunes.

Now, since this is a short show, we just get right into the discussion because I don’t have a lot of time to get my point across. Today, I want to talk with you about what I refer to as the “Age of Fragility.” And, if you don’t know by now, we are currently living through that era.

You cannot turn around, watch the media, or have a conversation with anyone these days without running across the virus of fragility we are currently experiencing.

Seems someone is always hurt or injured, having a difficult time mentally with something they’re experiencing, or offended by a few simple words to the point of having a difficult time functioning in society.

So this is what I want to address with you today. I’m going to break this down into three key areas of toughness all men need to work on: physical strength, mental fortitude, and emotional resiliency.

Each one of these areas is vital if we are to experience any level of success in our lives.

Alright, so first and foremost, let’s talk about physical toughness. I play basketball occasionally with some guys my age and I am always shocked to see that someone is missing because they rolled their ankle or their back is hurting or they’re having knee troubles.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand an injury is an injury but is it just me or is this becoming more and more common?

The sad reality is that most of us blame poor health conditions on the fact that we’re getting older. Heaven forbid we actually place the blame where it really belongs – on us. We’re lazy, fat, unmotivated, and don’t really want to get off the coach and then we blame our old age on the fact that we’re experiencing health issues.

It’s ridiculous to think that you can’t enjoy physical health just because you’re getting older. I’ve seen 60 and 70 year olds that would run circles around you and I because they’ve decided to make health a priority in their lives.

My challenge to you is to get your ass of the couch and out of the house and get moving. I don’t really care what you do – running, push-ups, box gyms, Crossfit, etc. Just do something!

Forget about competing in Spartan Races or marathons. I just want you to be fully present for your family, your business, and your community and, when you neglect your health you just won’t be able to do it!

Next, let’s talk about mental fortitude. I cannot believe how many mentally weak people are out there in the world today. I’m having conversations with graduating high school boys who having anxiety over leaving the house! Are you kidding me?

When I was eighteen, I couldn’t wait to leave the house, not because I had a bad upbringing but because my mom raised me to be mentally tough enough to handle what the world wanted to throw at me. I wanted to test my resolve.

But these days, we coddle our children and try to make it easy for everyone that we can. We’re afraid to have tough conversations. We’re afraid to do though things. And, then we’re surprised when the world beats us down and we go back home with our tail between our legs and cry to mommy and daddy about how the world isn’t fair.

Suicide is on the rise. I don’t want to be insensitive here but maybe, just maybe the real reason we’re seeing this is because children and adults aren’t allowed to experience what real life is all about anymore. Again, we don’t expose our children to hardship, we make all kinds of laws that shelter adults from negativity and then we expect them to perform when they haven’t built the mental fortitude to do so.

Today or this weekend, I want you to go to do something hard. Take on a new assignment at work, have the difficult conversation you’ve been meaning to have, tell someone ‘no’ that you’ve always said yes to. You’ll see that you won’t die. You’ll see that it’s not the end of the world. And, you’ll get tougher when you do.

Next, let’s talk about emotional resiliency. We really need to stop acting like a bunch of cry-babies. Look if someone says something you don’t agree with, who cares. It’s not the end of the world to have a disagreement. You don’t need to let it affect your day or your week or your life.

I really don’t know what to say here other than toughen up. Now, some people will hear that, or the term “man up” and say that’s not fair. It’s damaging to tell people to “toughen up” or “man up.”

You know what? It’s damaging not to. We’re creating a society of collective wimps and we’re getting trashed in real life. We quit too soon. We divorce too quickly. We let other people trample us because we’re too emotionally sensitive to stand up for ourselves.

Look, I don’t have any research to back this up. I don’t need it. Common sense tells me we’re heading down the wrong path.

A little physical strength, mental fortitude, and emotional resiliency will go a long way in helping you and I, and everyone live the life the want to life.

At the end of the day I think each and every one of us wants to make some money, spend some time with our families, do the things we want to do, and live a good life. If you really want those things – not just talk about wanting those things – you’re going to need to get tough.

So, you’ve got your marching orders for the weekend. First, get out of bed and get moving. Second, do something difficult that pushes you outside your comfort zone. And, third, learn to shake things off. No harm, no foul.

If you want to learn more about how to implement physical strength, mental fortitude, and emotional resiliency in your life, I invite you to join our elite mastermind, The Iron Council. This is a collection of men who will work alongside you to help you achieve your biggest goals in life. Whatever it is you want – money, relationships, health, whatever, we’re going to show you how.

We’ve got weekly assignments, daily challenges, battle teams and a ton more. Check out the details at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil. We hope to see you there.

In the meantime guys, make sure to subscribe to the podcast and leave us a rating and review at www.orderofman.com/itunes.

Physical strength, mental fortitude, emotional resiliency – it’s what makes a man a man! Catch you next week guys.