Hello Men! My name is Ryan Michler and I'm so excited to be coming to you today with the very first post for Order of Man. It's been a long time in the works!
Today, I thought that I'd take some time today to tell you a little bit about what we hope to accomplish with the podcast and the website.
I'm also going to share with you a bit about my story and why I think it's important for you to know. In fact, my back-story is the reason why I started this project and a large part of the future direction of Order of Man.
I'm also going to let you know what you can expect from me and our team over the next several months as we get things launched.
If you're like the many men that I've talked with as I've discussed what I'm trying to accomplish than I think you will relate to this story. At the very least, you will know someone who has been through a similar experience in life as I have.
When I was three years old, my dad left me, my sister and my mom. From the limited information that I know about the story, he was into drugs and alcohol and decided that those things were more important than his family at the time. Now, in all fairness to him, he has tried to build and maintain a relationship with me over the years. The fact of the matter remains that for the first eighteen years of my life my fathers wasn't there.
I never did really had a male role model in my young life. When I was eight my mother married again. This time, the man was an alcoholic. Looking back on it now, I don't question that her new husband man cared for us but when you put alcohol (or anything for that matter) over your family, it doesn't create the type of harmony in a home that I believe should be there. It doesn't allow for the father-the leader-of the home to fulfill his role and responsibility. Needless to say, that relationship soon ended and I was once again without a father figure in my life.
When I was thirteen, a new man came into my life as my mother remarried. I remember when they starting dating. I remember him asking how I felt about them being together and I was surprised at how quickly I answered that, "I did not need another dad in my life."
I had been let down before. Why would this be any different? Unfortunately, he again turned out to be a poor example in my life regarding what a man should be.
He was verbally and emotionally abusive. I remember the day we left. That day my mom, my sister, and I ran out of the house to the garage. He came running after us. My mom was so fearful that she literally drove through the garage door that my step-dad had tried to close as we got into our car to leave.
So it's easy to see how my faith in men at this point was very dismal.
Contrast those experiences with the several men in my life that I look to as role models-examples of what it means to be a man.
The first that I can think of is my high school football coach, Matt Labrum.
Coach Labrum was hard on me. He was hard on us all. But something was different. His attitude towards us wasn't ill-willed or mean-spirited. I could tell that he cared about us. He cared about who we were as athletes and as men.
He used sports as a metaphor for life and taught us that the lessons we learned on the field and baseball diamond were lessons that we could take throughout life. He shared with us how to win, how to lose, how to work together, what it meant to be disciplined and committed, and the hard work and dedication it takes to succeed.
One lesson I will always remember was when Coach Labrum benched me in baseball my senior year. When I asked him why, he said because I hadn't trained in the off-season. There was no denying that he was telling the truth. He held me accountable for my decision not to do the work I needed to do. It's a real-life lesson I learned from a man willing to show a little tough love.
Regional playoffs my junior year of High School
Another man that I hold in high regard is my father-in-law. I'll never forget the first time that I met him. He was sitting in the chair in his office and as I walked in to my wife's house (she was my girlfriend at the time). I said "hi" and he quickly nodded and gave me a not too cheerful "hey" back.
He's 6'3" and a man's man. He intimidated me then-he intimidates me now almost 12 years later.
My father-in-law is a tough man. If you need to know how to fix it, you call him. But if you need help, he's always the first person that comes to people's mind. I've always been intrigued by the way that he raised his sons.
No one would ever accuse him of taking it easy on them but no one would ever doubt his love for his children as he taught them about the family business and life.
I have male friends, business colleagues, neighbors, and relatives. Some of them are good men, some are not. As I think about my experience of growing up without a permanent role model in my life, I wonder what life would look like if I had. I wonder what the world would look like if we had more "men" in it. I'm not talking about males-I'm talking about men. And I believe there's a difference.
Now that I have sons, I see the need to teach them and reclaim what it means to be a man. That's where Order of Man comes in. Together we can create a community where men can learn from each other. This is something that I would want to be part of. Something that my sons can contribute to and learn from. So, here's how were going to do this:
We're going to cover five main areas of life for you to learn from.
This one is the most important. When we cover self-mastery, we're going to break that down into three sections: physical, emotional, intellectual.
If you can't figure out how to take care of yourself, there is no way that you're ever going to make an impact in this world. Tweet That!
The world would have you believe that men cannot master themselves. You see commercials, magazine articles, and TV shows that portray us as animals, lazy, pigs, and idiots. It seems like everywhere you turn there is an assault on manhood. But I'm here to tell you that together we can hold off that assault and become the men that we were born to be.
Now, I don't want you to tune out just yet when you hear the word faith. I am not talking about religion although there are certain elements of that. What I'm talking about here is faith in a higher power, a higher purpose, a calling for you, a reason that you're here. Without that guidance or belief, what are we doing? There has to be a reason for this experience called life. We're going to share what that is.
We, as men, have the tendency to believe that we need to go at it alone-that it's more noble or virtuous to do so.
That's wrong! We need others in our lives. We have family members and friends that are there to work alongside us to accomplish the things that we want to accomplish. We can develop and nurture relationships in a way that creates a win-win for us and those we care about. We're going to cover how to do that.
I am a financial advisor and so this one really hits home for me. Men, it's time that we become better with our money. It's time that we become more deliberate in what we're doing with our career. We've all heard the adage that "money is the root off all evil."
I'm here to tell you that money and wealth is not evil. In fact, it's the catalyst for all that can be good in this world: charity, creativity, accomplishment, fulfillment, and time.
It can, however, be destructive when we don't harness the power that money and a meaningful career can have in our lives. We'll talk about how to save and invest, how to land that dream job, how to ask for a raise, and how to retire wealthy.
The world needs men to lead in their homes, in their communities, and their countries. We need to get off the sidelines and get involved with the groups and organizations that we believe in.
I just volunteered to coach my two son's baseball teams starting this week. Last year, I coached basketball and football. What amazes me is the lack of involvement from men in sports with their children. It's scary. And, this is one small example of the lack of involvement around us.
Guys, we need to be involved in charities, politics, business, family, and all the things that make a family, a community, and a country run.
Now, about this time, a lot of people are going to ask what makes me the expert on all this. I'M NOT! The only thing qualifying me to do this work is that I am a man who wants to learn and improve. If you want to learn and improve as a man then you're at the right place. And if I can be the catalyst for growth in our lives then I think the better question is not "why me" but "why not me."
That being said, I have big plans for what we're doing with Order of Man. First and foremost, we're going to introduce you to the best men this world has to offer. These men are absolutely crushing it in their line of work or their field of study.
We're also going to create a Facebook Group where guys can come together and be resources for each other. We're creating a place where we can ask each other the tough questions and get authentic answers back.
We've started organizing quarterly retreats that we can Mancations, where guys can get together in person and escape the world and take some time to get back to their roots.
In the fall of last year we had a retreat at my cabin in Southern Utah. We've got golf outings planned. We've even considered going to Las Vegas and renting the track at the motor speedway to race their cars. What we're going to do is couple these Mancations with an opportunity to learn live from the men you want to learn from.
We've got a ton planned and we're just getting started!
So, here's what I need from you guys.
This first 30 days is crucial as we launch Order of Man and I'd really like you to join our cause and our mission of building better men.
Men, let's get started!
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