FFN 002: Protect, Provide, Preside

Welcome to your Friday Field Notes - a short episode delivered each week designed to help you think critically about what it means to be a man.

My goal is to help you become a better leader in your family, your business, and your community.

If you're interested in getting involved in more discussions like this and want to take charge of your life, I encouage you to check out our elite mastermind, The Iron Council.

This week, I talk about what it means to be a man: Protect, Provide, and Preside. You can listen in or read the transcript below.

Transcript, Protect, Provide, Preside

Men, welcome back to your Friday Field Notes. This is only the second week we’ve done this but I received some great feedback last week on our first Friday Field Notes show.

My job on this show is to make you think. The last thing I want is for you to follow me or anyone else blindly. I think a real man is someone who can think for himself, discern what information to implement, and then take action on those decisions.

Now, with that said, and since this is a short show every Friday, let’s just hop into this.

I’ve had a lot of people ask me what it means to be a man and what separates men from women. There’s the obvious but I’m not going to get into that today – you can figure that one out for yourself.

What I want to talk about today is the way in which we go about our lives. In this case, I want to talk about the responsibilities of men. And, these responsibilities go back thousands and thousands of years.

It hasn’t changed. I don’t anticipate it will change anytime soon. They way in which we approach our responsibility may have changed but not the underlying duties themselves.

Now, the reason I want to talk about this is because I see more men every single day shirking their responsibilities as men. There are a ton of guys out there absolutely doing what they need to do as men and there are guys out there who are doing the exact opposite of what they should be doing.

So, with that said, what is it that a man needs to be doing? A man’s primary responsibilities are to protect, provide, and preside.

So, I want to break each one of these down briefly for you because your ability to understand what I’m talking about and carry out these responsibilities is your ultimate measure as a man.

First, protect. This is the reason we’re built the way we’re built. Generally speaking, men are bigger and stronger than women – for a reason. Our job is to protect our loved ones.

When shit really hits the fan, people look to the man. When an intruder breaks into your house, your wife tells you to go check it out, when there’s a spider running around the house, it’s your job to kill it.

This is your job fellas. Can you handle it? Can you defend yourself? Are you physically fit? Are you trained with a weapon? Can you think rationally about an emergency situation? Can you keep cool and collected when everything else is chaos all around you.

If not, I question your ability to lead as a man. If you have some room to grow in this area, great – do it! This is what you’re supposed to do. Now I hear a lot of people that will say, all men aren’t warriors. That’s true. And, you don’t have to be a warrior to protect everything you care about. I’m not asking you to conquer nations – I’m telling you that you need to be able to protect your domain. You don’t have to be a warrior to do that put you do need to get proficient at some skills.

Next, provide. Again, spanning back thousands of years, man’s primary responsibility was to provide. Thousands of years ago it may have been a fresh kill, a cave to dwell in, and a big enough leave to cover ourselves and today, it’s very much the same – food on the table, a place to live, clothes on our back.

If you’re not providing those things for yourself and your loved ones, is there really a reason to have you around.

Now, I know more and more women are entering the workforce and to that I say, great. I have no problem with that. And, if you’re in a relationship where the wife goes out and works and you stay at home, great.

Because, this concept of providing goes well beyond physical contributions too. Are you providing mental and emotional support to your family? After all guys, you are the rock, the foundation in which your family can build upon.

Next, preside. I’m talking about leadership here. It is your job and it always has been to lead your family, your business, your community.

Again, I think I might have some hate on this one because women will tell me they can lead to. Yes, that’s true! You can lead. And, quite effectively. There are women who I have been led by who were completely capable of handling the task.

But, a woman is not expected to the same way a man is. That’s what I’m talking about here. That typically speaking, you as a man, are going to be looked upon as a leader. How are we going to raise our family? What direction is the business going? What is best for the community as a whole.

Your ability to lead effectively will spell the difference between success and failure in your family, business, and community. If you want a great resource for this, go read Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. In fact, I will be releasing my podcast interview with Jocko Willink Tuesday of next week.

Again, I want to be clear here. Women have the ability to do all the things I talked about. But, at the end of the day, you as man are the one who is expected to bring home the bacon, you are the one who is expected to keep everyone safe, you are the one who is expected to lead people to the promised land.

Maybe you have the ability to do all that. Maybe you don’t. Either way, all of us men could step up to task a little bit better.

That’s what the world needs from us. Protect, Provide, Preside

If you guys want to learn more about how to do this, head to orderofman.com/fieldnotes and dig around on the site a bit. You can learn about who we are at Order of Man, what we do, and while you’re there, consider joining our elite mastermind, The Iron Council. There we talk about all this stuff and a ton more.

Remember to tune in next week for my conversation with one of the baddest men on the planet, Retired Navy SEAL Commander of Task Unit Bruisser, Bronze and Silver Star Recipient, and New York Times Best Selling Author of Extreme Ownership.

Catch you next week guys but until then, remember, it’s your job to Protect, Provide, and Preside.