The Five Wounds Every Man Must Address
Men rarely take the time to address their deep emotional pain. Instead of doing the necessary work, we tend to hide our suffering, push it aside, or slip into sedation. Unfortunately, ignoring these issues only causes them to surface in destructive ways, causing us to lash out at loved ones or sabotage potential relationships. To become mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy, every man must confront five specific wounds.
The Unblessed Wound This wound typically stems from a father figure or authority figure who never provided the necessary validation. When you never hear that you are loved or talented as a young man, you spend your life constantly chasing validation from others. The fix is to say the words you needed to hear to yourself, and then intentionally share those exact words of validation with your children or friends to break the chain.
The Betrayal Wound When someone backstabs you or fails to honor a commitment, it is easy to adopt a complete lack of trust in people. This prevents you from giving anyone true responsibility or access to your life. To overcome this, you must hand off one simple task to your spouse or child and completely trust them to finish it by the deadline without checking in.
The Humiliation Wound If you were embarrassed or mocked for sharing an idea in the past, you likely learned to stay quiet and avoid standing out. This fear keeps you from sharing your ideas and having a positive influence on the people around you. The only way to fix the humiliation wound is to intentionally do something this week where you run the risk of looking foolish, such as speaking up in a meeting or trying a new martial arts class.
The Abandonment Wound If you have lost someone important, you may subconsciously believe that anyone you love will eventually leave you. This leads to hedging your bets and refusing to invest fully in a relationship, which creates a self-fulfilling prophecy where the other person pulls away due to your lack of investment. You must fix this by refusing to run away. Stay present in the room and contribute to the conversation during difficult moments.
The Failure Wound When past ventures or relationships fail, men often become afraid to try again, using the excuse that a new goal is simply too complex. However, it is morally worse to have an idea and not pursue it than it is to try and fail. To address this, you must complete the failure by making amends, apologizing, or paying someone back, and then actively take back one responsibility in your life.
By repeatedly implementing these simple fixes, men can stop letting past traumas dictate their future.
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