Building a Thriving Tribe

I want to talk with you about building a thriving tribe. Now, this may be a conversation geared towards those who are working to build their own business/social media tribes like we’ve done here but, really, it’s for any man who wants to lead. And, all men are leaders.

So, whether you’re leading a tribe of hundreds of thousands that spans the entire planet (like we are here), or you’ve been tasked with leading a new project at work, or you’ve got a wife and children to protect, provide, and preside for, or you’re a coach or school teacher, or in the military, or going to school, we all have tribes to lead. Today, I’m going to walk you through a few key insights that have helped me build this tribe significantly larger and more significant than I ever could have imagined.

CARE ABOUT YOUR TRIBE

It’s a shame I even need to mention this but I bring it up first for a reason. If you don’t care about your tribe, you will never succeed (at least not in the long term). Sure, you might be able to trick a few people into believing you have their best interest at heart but I can assure you that, unless you do, you will be found out.

Put your tribe’s needs at the forefront of your mind. Really have a desire to help and see them win in a way that’s important to them. If you can’t do that, at a minimum, nothing else I share with you today will matter.

KNOW THEIR CONCERNS

Your job as a leader is to address the concerns of your tribe but in order to do that, you have to know what concerns they have. What are your people’s pain points? What are they struggling with? What solutions are they after? How do they define success?

Take a look at the most influential leaders in history and you’ll quickly recognize that their ability solve their tribe’s problems put them at the front of the pack. Whether you’re referring to Martin Luther King, Jr. Steve Jobs, Gandhi, George Washington, Jesus Christ, Henry Ford, Bill Gates, Winston Churchill and even Hitler, they all had the ability to solve the concerns of the people they were leading (although I would add that Hitler violated the first rule I mentioned a minute ago as well as many others).

If you want to lead effectively, know your tribe’s concerns and address them accordingly.

SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE

Let’s take a lesson out of the Order of Man playbook. One of the most common comments I receive when I make a post or publish an article about masculinity is “well, this applies to women too.” Of course, it does! There is a lot that I talk about that is universal to both men and women. Not all of it, but a lot of it.

But I don’t talk about it from the context of appealing to women. Why? Well, it’s not because I don’t like women, or that I want to alienate them, or that I think less of women (like some people believe of me). It simply means that I have the desire to share some universal truth and information in a way in which it will resonate with men. Men are my audience. Sure, women listen to the podcast too but men are my audience. So, I speak in a way that will connect with men.

Now, some people will say that’s disingenuous or manipulative. That’s not true at all. In fact, if anything, it should be taken as a compliment. I care so much about my audience that I craft and deliver a message so that it connects with the people I’m working to serve.

The burden of articulating a message falls upon me, the deliverer of that message, not on the receiver of the message.

So, if you aren’t getting any traction with your family, or co-workers, or employees, or clients, I’d have you consider that maybe you aren’t speaking their language.

BE RUTHLESSLY CONSISTENT

It is amazing how distracted we have become as individuals. You’ve heard it been called “bright, shiny object syndrome.” How often have you been hopped up and excited to start some new venture only to wake up the next morning with absolutely zero desire to follow through on it? If you’re like me, it happens all the time.

Look, if you want to succeed at building a thriving tribe, you have to be consistent in your actions over years and years and years, long after the thrill of a new venture wears off.

This is the single greatest differentiating factor between our organization, Order of Man and the dozens if not hundreds of other “movements” around men that started around the same time. I’m not smarter, better connected, more capable, well-financed. I’m just really good at being robotic about the actions I take to build a movement. That’s it.

Every single day you have to do the work required to succeed. If you miss a day, make up for it. The worst thing you can is let your inactions compound. That’s where people start to quit.

This is the most simplistic advice I can give you: be consistent. It’s simple. Don’t overthink it. Don’t complicate it. Just be consistent and have faith the results will follow.

BECOME A TRIBESMAN

I want you to take a look at my life for a second. Think about the truck I drive. Think about the dog I own (German Shepherd). Imagine the glorious beard I have. Think about what I do for fun (Crossfit, hunting, and woodworking). What clothes do I wear? How do I communicate? What is my background?

Everything I do is very masculine. I am a member of my tribe. Period. If I can’t become the best member of my tribe, what right do I have in leading it? If you are not literally living the highest version of what you’re asking your tribe to do, you will not gain the admiration and respect of those you wish to lead.

There’s an old, outdated, antiquated way of leading. That is that you position yourself at the top at cut yourself off from the tribe. That may have worked when access to you and information was limited. Now, we all have access to the same information and opportunities. There is no barrier to entry for just about anything you or someone may want to do. That’s why it’s critical you find another way to lead. And, it has nothing to do with the secret formula we all know you don’t possess and everything to do with how you are the flagbearer for your tribe. It’s about being an example. It’s about living in integrity to yourself and the people you lead.

I know I didn’t share anything ground-breaking with you today. I know that because I’m telling you the truth. If I told you something you’ve’ never heard before, I’d urge you to be skeptical about what I’m sharing. But here’s the catch: some of you are going to think that this message is so simplistic that you’re going to overlook the simple truths I’m sharing. I’ve turned this business and movement into multiple six-figures using the five strategies I shared with you. I’ve become a leader in my home, I’ve become a leader of my family, I’ve become a leader of myself by using these five strategies – nothing more, nothing less.

If you want to lead, you’ll take what I shared with you today to heart. Learn it, live it, internalize it, be it and you too will create a thriving tribe.