FFN 012: 10 Sure-Fire Ways to Fail at Life

Welcome to your Friday Field Notes - a short episode delivered each week designed to help you think critically about what it means to be a man.

My goal is to help you become a better leader in your family, your business, and your community.

If you're interested in getting involved in more discussions like this and want to take charge of your life, I encourage you to check out our elite mastermind, The Iron Council.

This week, I talk about 10 sure-fire ways to fail at life.

Transcript, 10 Sure-Fire Ways to Fail at Life

Men, what is going on today?! My name is Ryan Michler and I am the host and founder of Order of Man. Glad you’re tuning in with us whether this is the first time you’ve listened in or you’ve been listening in for a while now.

As I’m sure you know by now, this is a show about all things manly. Bottom line: we want to help you become a better man. We want you to be a better leader in your own life, with your family, with your business, and with your community. We do that by bringing you the very best, practical information that you can actually apply in your own life.

Now, if you’re new to the show, this is our Friday Field Notes where I ramble about some lessons learned throughout the week. The show typically lasts between 5-7 minutes but, if you’re interested in the full show – our interview show – make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you never miss any of the interviews we make available each Tuesday.

Now, let’s get into today’s show. By the way, if you want to dive into this conversation or any of the other conversations we’re having about what it means to be a better man, head to our closed FB Group and request access. It’s at www.facebook.com/groups/orderofman. We have 5200 guys or so in the group now and we want you to be there.

I made a FB post earlier this week that got a bit of attention and I wanted to talk about it. I titled it 10 SURE-FIRE WAYS TO FAIL AT LIFE. I’m obviously taking a different approach with this one but sometimes it better to talk about what not to do than what you should be doing.

Now, some of this is going to sounds obvious. But, here’s the deal. You are guilty of a few of these. If I’m being honest, I’m guilty of a few of these. So let’s break down each one of the 10 and, as we do, ask yourself if you’re guilty of doing this in your life – even if it’s to a small degree.

Alright here we go:

The first way to fail at life is (and you’ve heard me talk about this countless times is to MAKE EXCUSES. I’m not going to get too much into this but if you’re making excuses in your life as to why you’re not getting things done, you’re doing yourself a HUGE disservice. Fabricating excuses might appease you temporarily but at the end of the day, it does nothing to get the job done. And, if you’re a man, getting the job actually done is top priority!

Next, TAKE ALL THE CREDIT. You know this guy right?! He works on a team but, as soon as there is any amount of recognition or praise, somehow it was just him going at it alone. In fact, if it wasn’t for his team, he would have been able to do it better and faster. Don’t be the guy who hogs all the credit. Share the love and it will come back to you.

Next (and this one goes hand in hand with the last topics) SHIFTING ALL THE BLAME. Again, when working in a team, this is the guy who blames everything that goes wrong on everyone else. He hogs the credit and shifts the blame. Look, you have just as much to do with things going wrong as things going right. If you’re working in a team, you should assume your fair share of the blame, if not more. It’s what great leaders do and it allows you to FIX the actual problem.

The next sure-fire way to fail is to WING IT. If you’ve been listening to me for any amount of time, you know I’m a guy that takes action. I’d rather take action and flop than sit on the sidelines and do nothing. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t plan. I do! In fact, I plan out every single day. It doesn’t always go according to plan but you need to have some direction throughout your day or you’re going to lose track of it and your week and your year and your life. If you want a really good resource for weekly planning, head to www.orderofman.com/weeklyplanner to download the exact planner I use.

Now, the opposite of winging it is OVER-PLANNING. You’ve got to find that middle ground. If you’re over-planning your life, you’re NEVER going to get anything done! This is also where the myth of perfection comes into play. Too many people are waiting for things to be just right before moving forward. The product has to be perfect. The economy has to be perfect. The timing has to be perfect. And, while they’re waiting, the action-takes of the world are launching, providing value, and succeeding.

Next, let’s talk about COMPLAINING. We all know complainers and not one of us enjoys it. And, evern worse, complaining without proposing a solution. That is a huge pet peeve of mine. Teddy Roosevelt has said, “Complaining about a problem without proposing a solution is called whining.” Don’t be a whiner. If you see a problem, bring it up but make sure you always propose solutions to the problem. You’ll set yourself apart when you do.

This next one, I’ve been guilt of in the past. It’s PLEASING OTHER PEOPLE. I used to change everything I said, did, and believed in order to please everyone else – in order to make everyone happy. And, the worst part, it actually seemed like it was working. Everyone around me was happy, but I wasn’t. No one respects or looks up to a man who flip-flops on every issue and every scenario. It’s called be spineless and a coward. You’re more likely to gain the admiration and respect of others when you stick to your principles with class and respect.

I think a lot of us are guilty of this next one. WATCH MORE TV. The average American watches roughly 5 hours of TV per day. That is crazy! That’s like taking on a part time job just to numb your brain in front of that electronic box. I get it. You’ve had a long day. You need to relax. You need to kick your feet up. But, if you really need to do those things, read a book, or have a conversation with your wife or girlfriend. You know – the things that are actually providing value in your life. Live in the moment. Be present with yourself and those you care about!

Alright, number nine - GOING AT IT ALONE. We’ve all heard the phrase, “It takes a community” and “No man is an island.” This is absolutely true. You don’t have it all figured out. I don’t have it all figured out. What you’re good at, I may not be. What I’m good at you may not be. This is why it’s critical to work together with others, whether that’s your spouse, your kids, a business colleague, or whoever you need to in order to make things work. You will be stronger, faster, more efficient, smarter, more profitable, and so much more when you learn to work with others.

And the last things I want to talk with you about is GETING OFFENDED EASILY. This is a plague on society and your success. But, the reality is that it’s taking over the world. You cannot say anything without someone getting offended. But, taking offense does nothing to serve you. It just makes everyone mad. I know there are those that lack tact and class. I know there are those who really don’t care about the wreckage they cause when dealing with other people. But, good hell, stop taking offense at everything. Worry about yourself and what YOU’RE doing and you’ll be much better off.

So there you have it guys, 10 sure-fire ways to fail at life: Making excuses, taking all the credit, shifting all the blame, winging it, over-planning, complaining, pleasing other people, watching more TV, going at it alone, and getting offended easily.

Your marching orders for this weekend and your life are to purge those things from it and do the exact opposite and success will be all but yours!

Guys, if you want to learn more about how to implement all the things we talk about on this podcast including eliminating the activities that are destroying your chances for success, join me and the other 100+ men who are doing more than just talking about being better men – we’re actually doing something about it.

We meet every single week online to talk about money, relationships, fitness, nutrition, business, and specifically this week, we’re talking about a topic that applies to EVERY SINGLE AREA of your life – communication.

Learn more about our elite mastermind, The Iron Council at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

Hope to see you there.

Until next week guys, take action and become the man you were meant to be!